Decaffeinated Liquid Death.

"I'm multi-talented. I don't need a barbeque to get drunk."

I need you to simply not ask.

My dad decided, on a whim, to make, as he calls it, "Nitzche tea". (Fridrich Nitzche was a German philosopher, who originally said, "What does not kill us makes us stronger.")

Yeah. "Nitzche tea" started when Dad had to drive me to school early for mUN. He'd make me a mug of tea, and leave it on the dining room table when I was ready for it. By the time I got around to it, however, it was pure tanic acid.

Uh-huh. Imagine my dad, standing over a spaghetti pot on the stove. In it, is a lot of water, and many tea bags from the obscure brand decaf green tea. Into it, he dumps in the leaves of an herb. He looks down, and mumbles, "I hope that was mint..."

Need I say more?