Just Bloody Funky

My first name has been, over the course of various nicknames, shortened down to Ki -- pronounced "key". Now, in the context of a comic strip in which all of the characters -- including the sentient slime mold -- are intelligent, that is merely an exotic first name.

In my case, I get to hear every bad pun involving the word "key" that can be thought of. Especially in A.P. Statistics.

It started with "Ki, where's your lock?", from a football player, whom I shall refer to a Creamofwheat.

After the third week of this, my A.P. Statisitcs teacher started in on it. ("Are your parents going to retire to the Florida Keys?")

Today, Creamofwheat took off his shoes, and threw them in the corner, behind his desk. Teacher pulls out scented air freshener spray. Rather than spraying it himself, the teacher makes the mistake of handing it to Creamofwheat.

Naturally, I start coughing.

Creamofwheat declares "I think I'm killing Ki!"
What does my teacher say? "Oh, it's okay. We can get a new one at the hardware store."

And I have to put up with this. If I try suggesting new ideas, they might run out of them by Christmas. But I could be wrong...