Costumes suck.

The other ideas I ended up with thanks to my friends:

• Godzilla. My friend said I should build it out of astroturf. Yup, a freaky, mutated lizard, made out of fake grass.


• Columbia, Rocky Horror. I'm not allowed to do this. Anita said so. She's doing it next year.


• "that guy from Honey I shrunk the Kids". No thanks. Too easy; no one would get it.


• Frankenfurter, Rocky Horror. If there's one thing I've learned from the costume shop, it's that some outfits just work better on a guy. A bustier, fishnets, pearls, platform stilletto heels, and an afro, is one such outfit.


• Audrey II, Little Shop of Horrors. Okay, yeah. I can build the entire plant, as a costume, in, what, four days?

But that gave me my idea: Audrey I. And I carry around a little, baby Audrey II, in a coffee can.

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