Am I really this oblivious?

I used to ask that question to my friends.

The answer was always, unequivocally, "yes".

First off, I thought today was Father's day. So, I have my dad's present wrapped in Green Santa Claus paper, sitting on a shelf, waiting for next Sunday.

Then, my mom had to go to some kind of luncheon, and, dad and I had nothing better to do, so we decided to go to the local International House of Pancakes. (I probably would have used my mUN skillz and knowledge of World affairs to make a scene, but that's entirely beside the point.) So, we get there, and there's a long wait, so we decide to go to the food court in the mall, for some Chili-fries and soda. (There's a healthy breakfast, yes?) So then, we decided to wander around.

Now, my first question, what's the deal with the girls wearing short pants? Maybe my concept of trousers is skewed because I'm tall, and I'm used to searching for a pair of pants that is actually long enough, but did I miss something?

And question number two, why do all the guys in the posters in the "trendoid" clothing stores look like they haven't showered since last summer? Meanwhile, all the guys around me are "gangsta"? What's up with that?

Somebody please clue me in. The simple fact of the matter is, I am so far out of the loop, I can't even see it from here.