I'm going to spill my heart and soul out onto the keyboard; all I need you to do is listen.

This story starts at 4:37 this morning. I know that seems like a pretty arbitrary time, but it's not. It's accurate.

No, no -- wait. I'm sorry. Hang on. I -- this story didn't start this morning. This story actually started long before that.

...It starts six years ago. Almost exactly six years ago, as a matter of fact. Six years ago, this past June, I had graduated from Elementary school, and was moving up to the "big" school. Six years ago this month, I was a seventh grader, and Nowheresville Memorial Junior/Senior High School was going to take me. I was heading to the massive fucking brick building on the other side of town.

You have to realize, I was eleven. I was cute, and innocent, and naïve.

My seventh and eigth grade years were spent doing very little of anything. Most of our "highschool" teachers still saw us as children, and didn't torture us to badly, save for one slightly psychotic Math teacher... but that's another story for another post. My friends and I hung out in the cafeteria, did our thing, had study halls, and tried to be fashionable. It was that whole really pleasant, stereotypical middle school experience.

This is the part where the story skips to 4:37 in the morning. This morning.

I couldn't get to sleep last night. At all. I spent an excessive amount of time staring at the ceiling. So I decided, "aww, screw it. I'll listen to the radio -- really, really low, so it won't bother my roommate."

So I click on the tiny clock/radio next to my bed. It's set to a specific station, which I also used to listen to back in Nowheresville.

It's about halfway through a song that I've honestly never heard before.

Fine.

Next, it starts playing Fastball's The Way. Do you remember that song?

They made up their minds and they started packing
They left before the sun came up that day
An exit to eternal summer slacking
But where were they going without ever knowing the way?

They drank up the wine and they got to talking
They now had more important things to say
And when the car broke down they started walking
Where were they going without ever knowing the way?

Anyone could see the road that they walk on is paved in gold
It's always summer, they'll never get cold
They'll never get hungry
They'll never get old and gray
You can see their shadows wandering off somewhere
They won't make it home but they really don't care
They wanted the highway, they're happy there today, today

The children woke up and they couldn't find 'em
They Left before the sun came up that day
They just drove off and left it all behind 'em
But where were they going without ever knowing the way?

Well, when I was in the seventh and eigth grade, it was my favorite song. Seriously. I still know all the words.

Here I am, six years later, staring at the ceiling at four in the morning, mouthing the words to the song that I used to love in Junior High.

I started to get teary-eyed.

The only thought that went through my head was, "What the fuck am I doing with my life?"

Of course, now, I'm not a cute, innocent, naïve seventh grader. Now, I'm a jaded, cynical, slightly-pissed-at-the-system college freshman, who actually knows what that song means.

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