Well, there ya go.

You Are 30% Normal (Occasionally Normal)

You sure do march to your own beat... But you're so weird, people wonder if it's a beat at all. You think on a totally different wavelength. And it's often a chore to get people to understand you.

How Normal Are You?

</laukaisyn>

Quote of the Day

"So... what do you call this material?"
"Well, it's real name has 37 sylables, so I call it unobtainium."

</laukaisyn>

Mom doesn't trust me.

I'm serious. She doesn't.

Mom declares, "hey, do we have any Rice-a-Roni?"
"Yeah..."
"Why don't you make some?"

So I skim the box, quickly. I notice the Microwave directions. *[for the record, the microwave scares me. Whenever you see microwave instructions, it's a pretty good bet they were written for 650 to 700 watt microwave ovens. Ours is a 1200 watt microwave oven.]*

"Hey, mom, were you aware that there were Microwave directions?"
"No. You can make it in the microwave, if you like."
"No, no. I'm scared of putting stuff in there for five minutes. This says 'twenty-five to twenty-eight minutes'."
"Oh, no! No, it'll come out nuclear. Well, what you do is, add a little butter, and just brown it lightly."
"Brown it?"
"Yeah. You know. Lightly, on a low flame. Then add some water and the flavor packet."
"There's a flavor packet?"
"Yeah..."
"Oh, wait, the Special Seasonings..."
"Yeah."
"Okay... Wait. How do I get it open."

"Y'know what?" she said, holding out her hand, "give it to me."
"What? You don't trust me?"
"No. Give it to me."


</laukaisyn>

Quote of the Day

"Can it damage a mouse to be thrown at a wall?"

</laukaisyn>

Puppeteer Goldfish Suggests...

For the record, banana cream pudding and Goldfish baked snacks taste wierd together.

It almost tastes like hard-boiled eggs that weren't boiled long enough.

Yup.

At any rate, that bit about "Puppeteer Goldfish" is... um... well, he came to you, courtesy of a 58 oz. Mega Size Box of Goldfish -- now with Fun Activities!

I'm not kidding.

That's what happens when mom goes to one of those "warehouses", and it's like, the smallest size they have of anything is the 36 pack of microwave popcorn.

Mmmmmm. Buttery popcorn.

At any rate, I need your help.

Yes, you. Tú. Vouz. In your comfy little chair. The one that's supposed to be you, when I type in that freaky shade of orange.

I promised myself that I'd come up with a mascot for hyphen-dash by it's first blogiversary. *(I know, that doesn't sound like it should be that much of a problem. But it is.)* My first instinct was to make a cute little faerie cartoon doll. That just seemed out-of-place. My next instinct was to go with the really awesome camel -- y'know, the one with the Gatling gun on it's back. The problem there is that I have two options: just the camel, or the camel with an Afghan sitting in the saddle, behind the gun. Just the camel seemed too close to something I've heard of -- the "O'reilly Camel"; and the Afghan and the camel seems like a political statement, even though it's not.

So then I thought, hey! Why not a Shubunkin! 'Cause Shubunkin are cool! ...but then it occurred to me that no one would know what it was, and they'd think it was just another Goldfish.

</laukaisyn>

Cross-dressing civil servant shows flash of perversion

Cross-dressing civil servant shows flash of perversion

UTSUNOMIYA -- A cross-dressing government official who lifted his miniskirt and flashed his male member at a woman in a Laundromat was arrested Tuesday, police said.

Takayuki Oka, the technician employed by the Tochigi Prefectural Government, was arrested for indecent exposure.

The 35-year-old from Utsunomiya admits to the allegations.

Police said that on the afternoon of April 19, Oka, wearing only women's clothes, lay in wait inside a Laundromat in Chikusei, Ibaraki Prefecture.

When a 25-year-old woman walked inside, he raised the hem of his miniskirt and flashed his member at her, police said.

Tochigi Prefectural Government officials said that Oka had taken the afternoon off on April 19. They said he had been a hard worker. (Wire reports, Japan, April 26, 2005)

</laukaisyn>

Photobloggy!

This is what happens when I go running after birds with a camcorder.

</laukaisyn>

I have a villain!

Yeah. Sixty Percent Chance of Rain finally has a villain! w00t!

He'll show up in May some time.


And my mouth feels better.


</laukaisyn>

I look like a chipmunk.

My face doesn't hurt too badly... I mean, aside from the fact that Django thought it would be a good idea to kick me in the lower cheek.

I'm living entirely on applesauce, vanilla ice cream, and refried beans.

Jak and Daxter: The Precurser Legacy is a great deal better than Jak II. The first game is quirky, and cool, while the second game is wierd -- but in a depressing way.

And, now that I'm thinking about it, why is it that no one ever bothers to comment?


</laukaisyn>

It's a veritable downpour!

Y'know, I wouldn't be surprised if you were tired of the really bad "it's raining"-type post titles that I keep putting up, every time I write about Sixty Percet Chance of Rain.

Too bad. I like bad puns.

At any rate, my wisdom teeth are coming out tomorrow.

Let's think about this:

[topomax] + [percaset] = I'll be stoned for a while.

And I hear you asking, *But, Laukaisyn, what does that have to do with Sixty Percet Chance of Rain?* It's actually quite simple. I'll be so amazingly out of it that I won't be able to get Sixty Percet Chance of Rain up on Friday. Which is why I'm putting it up now.

On Wedneday.

Enjoy.

</laukaisyn>

Quote of the Day

"...total vocabulary failure."

</laukaisyn>

I can't beleive she said that!

This girl -- we have no idea who she is; she just sort of appeared out of nowhere -- said the strangest things to Kat-Cat.

Well, first, she told Kat-Cat that she was "retro". There's nothing retro about Kat-Cat... Out-of-Style, perhaps, but not retro.

So then, she declares, "She's so..." (she thinks for a minute) "She's cute!" *(Kat-Cat ain't cute.)* "She's the sort of person I want to bring home to my mom, and say, 'see, this is the kind of person you wanted me to be!'"


I don't see why anyone's mom would want them to be an antisocial freak. Even Kat-Cat's mom doesn't want her to be an antisocial freak, and she's Kat-Cat's Mom.


</laukaisyn>

Ever have one of those days?

Of course you have.

Everyone has.

It's the kind where you start off, fighting with the slow computer with the small monitor. You do half of your final for Web Page Design. You save, only to get a little error message that reads: «Program not Responding. Any unsaved work will be lost. End Now?»

At any rate, you feel sick to your stomach.

You eat lunch. *(Mozzarella sticks. Oh boy. That's really hearty, and filling.)*

You spend your free period re-doing your final project for Web Page design, but, this time, you have to curse under your breath, because it's a different teacher in the typing labthat period, who doesn't realize how much you hate FrontPage.

You're almost done with you're little Web *(not "website", just "web")* devoted to The Story of Vernon and Irene Castle, and you feel pain, in the left side of your mouth.


...well, you kinda vaguely remember your dentist saying something about "wisdom teeth"... and the pain seems like it'd be in the right part of the mouth...


Today really suxxored.


</laukaisyn>

Quote of the Day

"But he was creepy!"
"Most stalkers are. They aren't open about it, y'know, 'hi, I'm a stalker, nice to meet you.' 'Okay, well, just keep thirty feet away, and I take a bath every night, so make sure you're on the right side of the house.'"

</laukaisyn>

I have a new addiction.

I'm sorry I didn't write, over the weekend.

But I'm almost completely addicted to iMovie.

I had iMovie 3.0.3, which was really unstable, and kept unexpectedly quitting... but iMovie HD is really nice.

Once I find server space for my movie, and the code for quicktime movies, I post it.


</laukaisyn>

Quote of the Day

"That was either tremendous bullshit, or wisdom; I'm not sure which. It was one or the other. Give me three more beers, and I'll figure it out."

</laukaisyn>

Photobloggingness!

I love this picture. If you look reeeeeally close, you can see the reflection of the camera.

</laukaisyn>

Dear Sir or Madam at the DOD or NSA:

I know my blog has been boring the past few weeks, and I apologize.

I know I'm not nearly as interesting as a lot of other people on the internet. Next to them, I'm down-right boring.

We all have to start somewhere.


</laukaisyn>

Quote of the Day

If there's one thing I learned from history, it's that people from a long time ago were really, really stupid.

</laukaisyn>

Ni!

I just felt like saying that. I don't say that often enough at school. (And when I say that, I mean "screech it at the top of my lungs".)

At any rate, it's not spelled "kai test", it's spelled "chi test". I still don't know what it is, but I'm pretty sure it's similar to a z-test or a t-test. And he says he's going to teach it right before the exam.



And... uh... yeah... that's really it.


</laukaisyn>

Quote of the Day

"Well... You should either write your name on your book... or pee on it, to mark your territory."

</laukaisyn>

Photobloggingness!

Look really closely, at the background, above the winged thing on the right-hand trophy.

</laukaisyn>

Kai tests!

I don't know what a "kai test" is. It's something that's been vaguely mentioned in A.P. Statistics.

Something I do know is that our Stats teacher is a really terrible teacher.


The A.P. exam is in... 2 weeks, and there's stuff that he hasn't bothered to try to teach us yet. Then, he gets mad that we "blew eighty dollars" on the exam.

WTF, man? We didn't know how inept you were in February, when we had to sign up for the damn thing! Now, that we don't understand half of the review book, is not a good time to start lecturing us, considering it's your fault.


</laukaisyn>

Quote of the Day

"Anyone here have experience fish spearing?"
"I just put 10,000 volts into the water. It comes out crispy."

</laukaisyn>

More photobloggyness!

Could someone please tell me what this is? And why it's nestled oh-so-delicately in the corner of the teacher's parking lot?

</laukaisyn>

Photobloggingness!

Five points if you can tell me where I took this.

Here's a hint: Under the bleachers at school.

 

 

</laukaisyn>

Quote of the Day

"I don't know which is scarier -- the idea that he doesn't know what he's doing, or the idea that this is the result of a carefully laid-out plan."

</laukaisyn>

Fine, just give me back my class dues.

You've got no idea how much I hate my class advisor right now.

Y'know, how I have to go to that mandatory orientation for the Honors' College? And, like, I'm missing my Prom for it?

Well; Prom is Thursday. Orientation is Thursday and Friday. My Graduation Ceremony is on Sunday.

I found out today -- from another student -- that there is a mandatory Graduation Rehearsal on Thursday Morning. A Rehearsal which I won't be able to attend.

Which, when I told my advisor, she asked me, "well, do you want to graduate?"

WTF, man?

Who asks something like that? You can't legally bar me from graduating if I've met all the state requirements. You can keep me out of the Ceremony; but I still legally graduate.

Meanwhile, we've had to pay exhorbinate class dues for the past six years, so that we wouldn't have to pay anything now, for the Cap and Gown. If I can't take part in the ceremony, I want that money back.

</laukaisyn>

Link of the whenever I damn well feel like it.

This one kind of defies explanation.

There's a Good Guy, and a Bad Guy, and the Girl, and all.

But the Good Guy is a moron, the Girl occaisionally hates the Good Guy. The Bad Guy is self-absorbed, and has two minions (one of whom is his brother). There's also the Coach, who has a freaky Milwaukee accent, the King of Town (who did not, contrary to popular belief, simply buy a crown and start demand people call him king), and a few others who really don't fit into the equation.

I present to you, the world of Homestar Runner.

</laukaisyn>

More adventures in posting!

Brad is having fun at city hall. You can tell.

"So, what do you need a Death Lazer for?"
"Well, how do you dry your sweaters?"
"So, it's not for world domination?"
"I'm sure it could be used for that..."

Yeah. At any rate, I don't really have anything to say.

Hi.


</laukaisyn>

Adventures in Human Stupidity!

Okay. I need you to imagine something.

There's a pick-up truck, in the distance. You look, and realize it's being followed, closely, by a second pick-up. Both are being driven by teenagers. In the first, the bed is full of ice, and has six kegs of beer. The second, has tables, for a drinking game affectionately called "beer pong"

Both drivers are 18. They are driving from Nowheresville, in New York (where the drinking age is 21) to a rented house, on the beach, in New Jersey (where the drinking age is also 21).

Does anyone else see a problem with this?

This is one of the plans for the Senior Prom Afterparty.

What happened to asking the PartyBus driver to take you to Long Beach, and walking along the boardwalk at 2 in the morning? Or is that too Junior Prom?

I'm sooooooo glad I'm going to be in Maryland for all of this.

Prom's on a Thursday. Honor's College Orientation is on Thursday and Friday... and Graduation is on Sunday. So I still get to hear about all the stupid things people did on Prom night, even if it isn't stupid enough to land in Newsday.

</laukaisyn>

Yay!

Well, Midge and Lorelei are having a rather freaky conversation about Achluophobia. Yup.

Okay, I seriously saw the greatest thing, and I wished I had brought my camera to school. There are a series of display cases, with trophies, around the gym. Each display case has, say, three sports. So the things we're really good at -- girls varsity basketball, for example -- have a lot of new trophies. Whereas the things that we really suck at -- varsity baseball -- haven't been touched since 1972.

No joke.

There's a cobweb strung between two trophies, with a dead spider in it.

You have no idea how much I want a picture of it.

And then there's this really beautiful old trophy. Varsity baseball. It's one of those, "whenever someone wins this one, we'll engrave their name and the year on the little plaque on the base" sort of trophies. The last year on there is 1962; it's tarnshed, and dirty, but it's beautiful. I mean, the base of this thing is, like, black marble. All the new trophies are cold-cast resin, with plastic figures on top. This, you know it's metal. It's tarnishing, the way good silver does, and we all know that plastic doesn't do that.

I want a picture of that, too.

Seriously.

</laukaisyn>