Finally.

Halloween is finally over.

So what does that mean?

...Christmas has begun.

Santa Claus -- of every kind, from "Imperial Crimson" to "Royal Velvet", and every shade of red, ranging from almost orange to almost chocolate -- Misses Claus, Miss Santa -- an entirely different costume, which makes you wonder about what truely goes on at the North Pole -- every elf -- male or female -- ever imagined, all of the accoutrements necessary to go with them... and, of course, the vinyl "Santa's Special Helper", a mini-dress from the "Bedroom Fantasy" line, that's probably still sitting around from last Christmas.

This is certainly a first...

It's always been "you're so nice," or "you've been so helpful". Today, it was "fucking little bitch."

Allow me to explain.

Today, I was propelled from "professional" -- professional what, I don't know, but something having to do with costumes -- to "shipping clerk".

So I'm in the back, making boxes -- I got a fifteen minute lesson on how to use the tape-gun; previous to that, I was banned from using it -- packing them, and putting the sticky address labels on them.

Fine.

There's this one costume, called "Be My Baby". It's an adult Baby costume. It comes in Pink and Blue.

We had one Pink one, and about a half-dozen blue ones left.

An order came in for the pink one; we had it ready; the order was cancelled.

Brand new, never-been-touched, goes back into the "Be My Baby" box.

Another order comes through for it -- credit card approved, UPS is picking it up at six.

Through an honest mistake, it went out to a customer, who was, shall we say, reluctant to give it back. She specifically took it out of the package, just to spite me. Don't get me wrong, I was being polite about it.

"Do I really have to give it back?"

Mom said yes.

She threw it at me, and called me a "fucking little bitch" -- I missed it, and heard this second-hand, from mom. I ran into the back, to pack it immediately.

She was thrown out of the store shortly thereafter. We don't like it when people abuse the employees.

Quote of the day

"His mouth is where words go to die."

The Costume Shop.

Guess what?

Every obnoxious customer made a bee-line, straight to me, yesterday.

Also: I have lost all sympathy for anorexic-wannabes. Yes, you're fat. You're a @#%$ing blimp.

The reason we don't allow cell-phones:

"It's rude and annoying. In the purse. Now.

"Cum cura et digiti quaerunt muliebribus armis,

     Cum furcis etiam spe comitante petunt;

Instrumenta viae ferratae scripta minantur,

     Sapone et fabricant risibus illecebras."

You Should Be a Scary Bunny for Halloween!

What should you be for Halloween?

...and the translation:

Narrator: It is a warm morning in the summer. It is Monday.
(Victor and Francisquita walk onto the stage.)
Francisquita: Victor, you are going to go to the stable this morning?
Victor: Yes, I am going to go now to the stable. And you go now to the Market.
(Both walk offstage.)
(Francisquita is seen walking back onstange.)
Narrator: It sees a handsome man that is asking people for directions.
Jorge: I need to know how to get to my friend's house.
Francisquita: Who is your friend?
Jorge: My friend is a person who went to Harvard.
Francisquita: What coincidence! My husband also was there. He knows people there. Come to my house with me.
(Francisquita walks off the stage with Jorge.)
Narrator: In Victor's home, Francisquita and Jorge arrive.
Francisquita: Take a seat. I will call my husband.
(Victor enters.)
Francisquita: Look here he is.
Narrator: Victor and Jorge exchange glances until Francisquita leaves.
Francisquita: I have prepared lunch.
(Francisquita disappears from the scene but listens to the conversation.)
Jorge: You married a woman?
Victor: Yes, but... I married for the money.
Jorge: It she very rich?
Victor: Yes. His father is a cattle dealer. He sells calfs.
Jorge: But... I thought...
Victor: What? You thought what?
(Francisquita re-enters, with lunch.)
Francisquita: I have lunch...
Narrator: Francisquita knows something is amiss.
Victor: I must ask you to leave.
Jorge: But... I traveled here, from Boston... I traveled, only to speak to you.
(Victor storms off the stage.)
(Jorge is lead to the door by Francisquita.)
Francisquita: I'm sorry... Victor can be very arrogant--
Jorge: No. It's my fault.
(Jorge leaves.)
(Victor re-enters.)
Francisquita: Victor, why did you do that?
Victor: Because... Jorge was my homosexual lover.
Francisquita: But... I thought you loved me!
(Francisquita runs out.)
Narrator: The weekend arrives. Francisquita has disappeared.
Victor: Have you seen my wife? I am the favorite son of Don Anselmo! I deserve to have respect.
Narrator: Jorge arrives and asks Victor what happened.
Jorge: What happened? Why are you sad?
Victor: Francisquita disappeared.
Jorge: Do you have feelings for Francisquita?
Victor: No, but... she has a smile that melted hearts.
Narrator: Francisquita leaves with a boy who works in the stable. He is called "Little snake".
Jorge: It is not a problem. Because I love to you.
Victor: Yes, I always also love to you.
Narrator: Francisquita is very happy with Little snake, and ran away with the Money of Don Anselmo. Victor and Jorge married and lived very happily in Tierra Amarrilla.

¡Yo puedo escribir telenovas!

Narrator: Es una mañana calida en el verano. Es lunes.
(Victor and Francisquita walk onto the stage.)
Francisquita: Victor, ¿tú vas a ir al establo esta mañana?
Victor: Sí, yo voy a ir a la caballeriza ahora. Y tú vas al Mercado ahora.
(Both walk offstage.)
(Francisquita is seen walking back onstange.)
Narrator: Ella ve un gálan que pregunta a la gente para direccíones.
Jorge: Yo necesito saber como llegar a la casa de mi amigo.
Francisquita: ¿Quien es tu amigo?
Jorge: Mi amigo es una persona que va a la Universidad de Harvard.
Francisquita: ¡Qué coincidencia! Mi esposo tambien fue allí. Él conoce a la gente de allí. Venga a casa conmigo.
(Francisquita walks off the stage with Jorge.)
Narrator: En la casa de Victor, Francisquita y Jorge llegan.
Francisquita: Tome un asiento. Llamaré a mi esposo.
(Victor enters.)
Francisquita: Mire, aquí esta él.
Narrator: Victor y Jorge se dan miradas hasta que Francisquita sale.
Francisquita: Yo prepararé el almuerzo.
(Francisquita disappears from the scene but listens to the conversation.)
Jorge: ¿Tú casaste una mujer?
Victor: Sí, pero… yo se case por el dinero.
Jorge: ¿Ella es muy rica?
Victor: Sí. Su padre es un ganadero. Él venta de los borracheras.
Jorge: Pero… yo pienso…
Victor: ¿Qué? ¿Qué tú piensas?
(Francisquita re-enters, with lunch.)
Francisquita: Yo tengo almuerzo…
Narrator: Francisquita sabe algo es mas.
Victor: Yo tengo que preguntar tu a salir.
Jorge: Pero… yo viajé aquí, de Boston… yo viajé, solo a hablo a ti.
(Victor storms off the stage.)
(Jorge is lead to the door by Francisquita.)
Francisquita: Lo siento… Victor puede estar muy arrogante—
Jorge: No. Estoy culpable.
(Jorge leaves.)
(Victor re-enters.)
Francisquita: Victor, ¿Porqué lo haces?
Victor: Por que… Jorge era mi amor homosexual.
Francisquita: Pero… ¡yo pienso me amos!
(Francisquita runs out.)
Narrator: la fin de semana luego. Francisquita desaparece.
Victor: ¿Tiene ver mi esposa? ¡Yo soy el hijo predilecto de Don Anselmo! Yo merezco tener respeto.
Narrator: Jorge luego y pregunta Victor qué pasó.
Jorge: ¿Qué pasó? ¿Porqué estas triste?
Victor: Francisquita desaparece.
Jorge: ¿Tiene al afecto para Francisquita?
Victor: No, pero… tiene una sonrisa que deshacía corazones.
Narrator: Francisquita sale con un muchacho que trabaja en el establo. Se llama “Culebrita”.
Jorge: No es una problema. Porque te amo.
Victor: Sí, te amo siempre tambien.
Narrator: Francisquita es muy feliz con Culebrita, y se escaparcere con el Dinero de Don Anselmo. Victor y Jorge se casó y vivió muy feliz y Tierra Amarrilla.

Quote of teh Day.

Mom says: "You are a vindictive bitch with a mean streak a mile wide."

I could write soap operas!

I'm posting something, here, that I helped to write. It's in Spanish -- it was for Spanish class -- and then I'll post the translation -- or, at any rate, what it's supposed to translate to.

If you've ever read "Adolfo Miller", by Sabine Ulibarri, this might make sense. The assignment was to re-write the ending. Víctor and Francisquita are both in it; along with two other characters of our own creation: Jorge (a college buddy of Víctor's) and "Culebrita", which is the Spanish word for "little snake". *(before you ask, I didn't come up with that one, thank-you-very-much.)*

Our version of the story, however, is just... wrong. On so many levels.

Quote of the day.

"Remember: you have to tell them 'Fuck you!', but nicely."

Unngh?

...I'm still home sick. The revised college essay (v.4.2) is better.

I went in to school only for one period, for a guidance appointment -- to find out the damn thing was scheduled for the period before.

---

I just realized -- with a significant amount of help from the "next blog" button -- that my blog makes more sense in my head than online. *(I think that sentence just made sense, at any rate.)*

I bet admissions standards are harder than the actual school.

Now that I've finished the fourth draft of my college essay -- which, by the way, is the first one that I actually like -- I can blog, without too much of a guilty feeling.

As an assignment for English, we had to write a 500 word Autobiographical Essay, which we could then use as our college admissions essay. There are only two problems with that: (1) that's not an option for the school I'm applying to, and (2) they only want 300 words.

So I wrote a tongue-in-cheek, 554-word blog entry for English, and, when I get it back, I'll post it here. *(it's actually pretty good, if I do say so myself. oh well.)*

For my real essay, I wrote 330-someodd words, about my personal experiences. Problem is? The deadline is November 1; but it has to be processed through Pupil Personnel Services, which means the entire thing has to be done by... October 15.

(insert angry, cat-like hissing sound here.)

College Admissions Essays Suck.

I'm home sick. I'm miserable. I'm working on my college essay.

Not fun. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

Random acts of Stupidity.

Hi again,

Here is Sal. I wite you because we are accepting your mortgage application. Our office confirms you can get a $220.00 loán for a $352.00 per month payment. Approval process will take 1 minute, so please fill out the form on our website.

This was actually emailed to me. Don't just scroll over it, either. Actually read the numbers.

Yeah.

Link of the Whenever I damn well feel like it

People get bored; they joke around. Then, there are the people who take the jokes to the next level -- photoshop -- and post them on the internet for all to see. That's what the folks at Something Awful do. Yeah.

More bad puns...

On the last math test:

Which of the following would be classified as a categorical variable?

1. The weight of 12 randomly selectd kiwis.
2. The number of ounces in 7 randomly selected key lime pies.
3. The cost of making a key at 50 randomly selected hardware stores.
4. The ethnicity of 18 randomly selected key-note speakers.

Come to think of it...

I've only ever been to one Homecoming parade -- and it wasn't even for my school.

I didn't even make the candidacy for Homecoming Court.

Out of ten girls? Eight are Field Hockey players, one is a cheerleader, and one is unpopular, and they voted for her just to make fun of her.

It took me both of my lunch periods to brood.

I just really needed to say that.