Even I can't explain this one.

I stumbled on this one quite by accident. You try to wrap your brain around it.

"Secret European military intelligence reports indicate the transformation of the American humanitarian mission in Iraq into a profitable trade in the American markets through the practice of American physicians extracting human organs from the dead and wounded, before they are put to death, for sale to medical centers in America. A secret team of American physicians follow the troops during their attacks on Iraqi armed men to ensure quick [medical] operations for extracting some organs and transferring them to private operations rooms before they are transferred to America for sale.

"The reports confirm the finding of tens of mutilated cadavers or cadavers missing parts. Some were found without a head. The American military command could not offer reasons to explain the bewilderment about the missing parts, suggesting that this may have been caused by the penetration of bullets to the [missing] parts. But these excuses cannot be medically accepted. The reports also confirmed that the burning of bodies was deliberate in order to conceal the crime of organ extraction. [The reports] further indicate that American medical teams have [made] active and suspicious moves in Iraq to recruit some Iraqis to guide them to dead and critically injured individuals to engage in the extraction of organs. These teams offer $40 for every usable kidney and $25 for an eye. The reports confirm the finding of mutilated bodies in Fallujah. The reports indicate that the cadavers are immunized inside special cars to prevent the spread of the plague until the bodies are buried by their relatives.

"The reports have indicated that a number of those killed in 'Abu Ghraib' and other prisons were subjected to operations for extracting their organs. Following their mutilations, the bodies were discarded far from the prisons to conceal the facts. The reports revealed that that the American forces restricted the media by force to prevent them from getting near the scenes and recording the events. But the relatives of the Iraqis are aware of these facts. The reports have [also] indicated that the military forces of the European allies have noticed the absence of organs from the cadavers that were dealt with by the Americans and have reported to their high command, which instructed them to maintain silence and to avoid the discussion of the subject due to its gravity, while the military and intelligence high command have written secret reports about was observed by their forces and sent them to the European ministries of defense for their information."

Thought for the day.

When you don't observe Decmber 25th as Christmas, but alot of your close friends and family do, you get Christmas dinner. Of sorts.

1. Always wander into the kitchen to ask if you can help. If all else fails, you'll learn how to make the semi-infamous punch.
   
2. This is a bad time of the year to start an Atkins diet. (It's also especially bad when you have to ask, "can I eat this?" and there's someone sitting there, deliberately saying "yes".)
   
3. It doesn't matter what's on TV, because channel 49 has "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" -- the original one with Fred Astaire -- and that is as festive as it's going to get. *(I'd been waiting all week for that one.)*
   
4. "Yankee Trader" is a really fun game, if you don't take it seriously. It's also called "Steal the Presents". Every one pulls a number. The first person picks a present at random, and unwraps it. The second person picks a present, unwraps it, then gets the option of keeping it, or stealing (trading with) the first person's present. The third person takes a present, unwraps it, and can keep it, or steal (trade) with either of the first two. And so on.
   
5. You can dress in a casual manner, if you have the proper shoes. The proper shoes are slippers that look like reindeer, and have bells on the antlers. The second you move your feet, they jingle.
   

</laukaisyn>

'Twas the night before everyone else's Christmas.

This is one of those things that I've had to explain, every year for twelve years.

It always starts out very simply.

It starts out in class; at the very end of December, before we leave for Christmas. The teacher would be telling us about what we were going to do when we got back, in January.

Invariably, someone would cry out, "I won't be here on [the first day we were back]."

So I would blurt out, "Mr(s) [so-and-so], I won't be here on January 7th. It's my Christmas."

The teacher would nod, and say, "okay."

*(and I can hear you, mumbling, "Wait, January 7th? Isn't it December 25th?")*

Okay. In a nutshell: there are two calendars. (Obviously, there are more, but we're only concerned with two at the moment.) They are the Gregorian Calendar and the Julian Calendar.

The Gregorian Calendar is the standard calendar, used throughout most of the world. You see down there, where is says "posted by Laukaisyn at", and then the time and date? That is the Gregorian Calendar. (Christmas=December 25.)

The other calendar is the Julian Calendar. The Julian Calendar is almost the same as the Gregorian. Until 1582, the Julian Calendar was the standard calendar (although, it ought to be noted that many parts of the world moved over to the new calendar later. England, for example, moved to the new calendar in 1752.)

It has twelve months, some with 30 days, and some with thirty-one; except for February, with the 29. And there's a leap year every fourth year.

...So, what's the difference?

The Julian calendar is thirteen days behind the Gregorian calendar.

Therefore... December 25th on the Julian Calendar is January 7th on the Gregorian.




Another thing that I really ought to touch on, because I have been asked this...

January Seventh is not "Little Christmas", the Epiphany, or any other name for it. As it has been explained to me -- by those insisting that I celebrated it -- it remembers the coming of the wise men bringing gifts to visit Christ. January 7th is actually Christmas -- for me, and any other Orthodox still on the Julian Calendar.

(*I'm not going to go into a comparative essay on the Western church v. Eastern Church thing right now. Later. Sometime before Easter and Paskha, maybe.)*

</laukaisyn>

They look like good movies.

Just so you know... all the links lead to Quicktime Trailers.

"People don't throw things at me anymore. Maybe it's becase I carry arround a bow and arrow."
-- The Weather Man

"I'm looking for Mr. Cosby..."
-- Fat Albert

"He saw the signs. He tried to warn us. Now, in our darkest hour, he's got a plan to save us all..." "RUN!!!"
-- Chicken Little

"...I'm going to need something stronger than this."
-- Monster in Law

"Do I need a little make up?" "You need a hose."
-- Spanglish

"Don't Panic."
-- The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy

"I don't want you to see any of my wobbly bits."
-- Bridget Jones, the Edge of Reason

"I'm sorry. I don't speak monkey."
-- Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

"What's it like? Neverland?"
-- Finding Neverland

"What do you think about doing the movie in New England?" "...But the movie is called 'Arizona'."
-- The Last Shot


</laukaisyn>

<squeak>I got in!</squeak>

Sqeeeeeeeeeeee...!

I applied to college sometime in October.

This morning, I got a letter, from them. On the envelope, in massive orange letters, it said, "yes".


</laukaisyn>

"You're avoiding the question."

It started about two weeks ago.

First off, Kathryn -- the Kathryn that you keep hearing about -- is one of my best friends. I've known her since, like, the fourth grade.

So... about two weeks ago, we were having a conversation, and Christmas comes up. She then screams out, out of absolutely no where, "I hate you! You're weird and maniacally twisted... you're impossible to buy a Christmas present for!"

Yes, this is what she said.

So, today, nearly two weeks later, I'm standing at her locker -- this is where most of our conversations take place -- and she declares, "Okay, so what do you want for Christmas?" *(again, it was out of absolutely no where. i don't know where she pulled that one from.)*

I shruged, and, not beleiving that was enough of a segue, continued the conversation we were having up until that point.

We repeated that interchange another three times, before she acused me of avoiding the question.

I shrugged, stuttered, and said, "I don't know."

And, y'know, it's not like you have to rush, or anything. I don't care. You know that.

*(i think i got her the same thing for Christmas every year for the past... well, since at least the ninth grade. But this is from the person who usually just gives people bookmarks.)*

</laukaisyn>

Again, with the mad HTML skillz.

Click right... here.

</laukaisyn>

The comment tag may be the only friend I have right now.

I'm thinking of leaving these on the homepage for my English Research Paper Website Thing. I wonder if my teacher will know to "view source".

<!--I hate this Research Paper. AppleWorks ate a sustantial portion of the paper, for no truly apparent reason. It was probably just to spite me. I don't know. But on Sunday Morning, when half of my paper had vanished into thin air, I was ready to take up kick-boxing, with the computer as the punching bag. Just wanted to let you know.>

<!--I feel like I've just had my brains smashed in with a gold brick wrapped in a lemon slice.>




</laukaisyn>

My word processor ate my research paper.

AppleWorks ate more than half of my Research Paper last night.

It ate the good half.

So... beyond... pissed...

</laukaisyn>

I have no desire to write a research paper.

Remember that Research Paper I told you about?

The one that has something to do with the Hitchhikers' Guide Trilogy?

Yeah. I'm stuck writing that this weekend.

My thesis -- everyone thinks I sound smart, because I came up with my own, original thesis -- is "The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy, by Douglas Adams, is actually a modern-day, science fiction retelling of the works of Lewis Carroll."

Not only that, but my teacher told us that he expects us to be creative. He told me, specifically, that he's expecting something really good. I told him that I didn't want to bind it into a binder, or, like, even print it out. "That's boring and uncreative," I said, "Everyone else is doing that."

So now, I'm making a website.

About this.

Could someone please tell me what the @#%$! I was thinking?

</laukaisyn>

Quote of the Day

"I hate you. You're weird, and maniacally twisted. You're impossible to buy a Christmas present for."

</laukaisyn>

Quote of the day.

"I have to learn to end my sentences a sentence earlier."

</laukaisyn>